Saturday, January 4, 2014

Luahan Bunga yang hampir mati

Kisah ini bukan kisah tragis , malah bukan juga kisah romantis. Ia cerita tentang penrjanjian , kesefahaman , pengkhianatan dan kecurangan.

      Kali Pertama aku mengenalinya sewaktu sebuah activiti di jalankan di dalam dewan sekolah. Sewaktu itu pelajar baru menghabis peperisaan PMR. Saya tidak mengetahui banyak tentang dirinya melainkan wajahnya mempersonakan hati ku. Dia yang berjaya menawan perasaan ku.Sewaktu di kantin, aku melihat dia keseorangan. Lalu aku memberanikan diri dan memberi ucapan kabar kepadanya "Hai, sorang je ke? Kawan-kawan yang lain mana? Dia senyum dan mengatakan " Ada, dorang semua kat dalam dewan." Itulah cerita bagai mana aku mula berinteraksi dengannya.
     Dua minggu sudah berlalu dari perbulan pertama kami, alhamdulillah kami berkawan dan mulamengenali antara satu sama lain. Sewaktu ini pula sekolah telah merancang sebuah rombongan ke Melaka. Sewaktu disana tiada apa yang berlaku antara kami cuma kami sering ber "SMS" sewaktu perjalan pergi dan pulang. Sewaktu ketibaan masa untuk kembali ke rumah masing aku menerima SMS darinya mengatakan bahawa tiada orang yang berada dirumahnya dan rumahnya di kunci mangga. Aku mengambil keputusan untuk menemaninya. Kami berbual dan bergurau senda di sebuah stesen minyak Shell berhampiran Kg Pasir , Segambut. Pertemuaan kami hanya berlangsung selama Satu jam oleh kerana keluarganya sudah pulang di rumah. Aku pulang dengan tenang kerana dia sudah selamat berada di dalam rumahnya bersama orang-orang yang mampu melindunginya. Pada lewat malam itu sewaktu aku sedang berehat di atas katil aku menghantar sebuah kiriman padanya bahawa aku ingin menjadikannya kekasih ku. Dia ,menerimanya dan hati ku bergelora dengan perasaan keembiraan yang tak ter kira.
       Hampir Dua tahun hubungan kami terjali banyak dugaan yang kami hadapi. Makin hari makin sayang makin hari makin erat hubungan kami. Pada tanggal 30 11 2012 aku menyambut hari kelahirannya dengan membelinya sebuah kek yang tertulis namanya. Aku tenang melihat wajahnya yang gembira sewaktu ku menyambut ulang tahun hari kelahirannya itu. Dia malu-malu sewaktu aku ingin menyuap kek kepadanya tapi akhirnya dia menerima. Itu saat paling bahagia aku pernah merasa kerana dapat bermesra menyambut hari kelahiran insan yang aku sayang.
        Selepas tamatnya Perperiksaan SPM dugaan yang berat menimpa bahawa aku perlu meninggalkannya buat seketika kerana aku berkerja. Aku bekerja disebuah Taman tema di Nusanjaya, Johor. 3bulan aku disana tidak pernah sehari aku terlepas msg atau call daripadanya. Sehingga aku pulang di Kuala Lumpur semula pada bulan March. Aku sangkakan itu dugaan yang paling besar dalam hubungan kami namun aku silap kerana ada peristiwa hitam yang akan mengakhiri hubungan kami.
      Pada Bulan Ogos, 3 haribulan.. Tiba saat hari kelahiran ku, Giliran dia pula menyambut hari kelahiran ku. Kita bertmu dia sebuah pusat membeli belah Pavillion , Bukit Bintang. Dsana dia kita merai mesra bersama. Dia memberi hadiah Kotak pensil dan sebuah buku untuk ku. Aku rasa bahagia dan terharu antas pemberiannya itu.Kami bersama buat beberapa jam sebelu berpisah pulang.
      Kisah perakhiran ini bermula selepas 3hari pertemuan yang terakhir kami itu. Aku membuka sebuah laman sosial dan ternampak nama lelaki lain di halamannya. Aku sangka ia kawan sehingga aku memjumpai bukti-bukti yang tertentu. Aku menalifon beliau dan menanya adakah perhubungan mereka benar. Dengan relanya dia menyataknnya namun dia masih mencintai ku. Aku menjadi bingung dan resah. Apa sebenarnya yang berlaku antara kami. Adakah salah yang pernah aku laku kepadanya begitu besar? Berape hari aku merayu untuk dirinya namun hasilnya mengecewakan hati ku.
     Lamanya masa bersama dia tidak lagi bermakna. Segala memori yang ada ibarat wayang habis nilainya. Masa yang diambil agak lama untuk ku pulih dan tusukan duri ke jantung itu. Aku masih bingung dengan apa yang berlaku namun aku tabah dengan semua itu. Aku yakin bahawa perpisahan ini dikehendaki Allah SWT. Mungkin memang tiada jodoh antara aku dan dia.

Tujuan aku menulis ini bukan untuk memburukkan sesiapa namun aku ingin meluahkan bahawa aku sanggup melakukan apa saja buat dirinya. Namun dia begitu senang memejamkan mata dan meniggalkan ku buat selamanya. Dengan semua insan aku sanggup bertengkar asalkan dia yang benar. Kawan ,sahabat , guru dan keluarga semua ak ketepikan buat dirinya. Mungkin itu silap ku kerana terlampau menaruh harapan buatnya.

Ada banyak lagi pekara yang terjadi namun hati ku belum bersedia untuk meluahkan semuanya lagi. Dalam pekara ini banyak salah ku dan ada juga salahnya. Jikalau ada kesempatan masa aku akan meluahkannya lagi.

Buat kekasihnya kini , Aku mendoakan kamu berdua bahagia selamanya dan aku meminta kau menjaga dia semana aku sanggup mengadainyawa buat dirinya.

Buat dirinya, jangan pernah kau ulangi pederitaan yang pernah kau beri kepada ku. Aku doa kau bahagia bersama yang kau cinta. Kau yang pernah dan akan sentiasa membuat ku terasa.............. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

College life





You think you finish school you would have a better life and a happier way of living. It is much more free living without parents monitoring you every movement , no one to tell you when to sleep and study but it's not as simple as it seems. 

IT'S A JUNGLE LIVING ALONE!!!

You wont have the same friends you knew in school 24/7 . You'll really start to meet more assholes and bastards. You'll see the world at a different point of view. All those fairy tales you here about growing up is all fun and giggles, you should really wake up from that dream. You really know the meaning of burden of have to handle money wisely , choose your friends carefully and study smartly. The lectures won't feed table spoons to your mouth and give hundred percent focus on you until you understand like the teachers in school do. You your self have to focus on what you learn and what you do. The problems in school is just like air if compared to what you going to face when your 18th. 

WISH I NEVER ASK TO GROW UP T________T !!!


But despite all odds, there are still happy moment within all the hard times. Old friends that care will still be together with you in all troubles and hardships, this is why " friends are the brother and sister we choose" so choose wisely. Besides that there are friends that you will meet that deserve the care and loving as the old one that will help you survive this bastard college life. There will also be moments where you wouldn't thought you feel the fun you got. 

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT YOU HAVE WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE. PEOPLE WILL COME AND GO BUT THE PEOPLE THAT CARE AND LOVE US WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER.   

Monday, July 8, 2013

My Puzzle of A Heart

I don't know what I want right now. It's all scramble , every thing I ever know change and the girl once my angel has now gone. The girl I learn to love know don't even have the heart for me. What is my world ending up? I wish for my life to be happy again. "To see the sun shine and smile again without a pain in the heart". May this month would change my faith . May this Ramadhan fix my puzzle heart... Amen.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The True Story Behind It


Actually , I had a first sight on another before I admit that I like "********" .

The truth is I like this girl first , She was sweet with a innocent look , beauty and pretty . Why I never admit? It's because I knew that a lot of others was chasing after her , wanted her number , wanted to love her. Knowing me I'm not the type to fight or argue over a female. I rather let them tear them self a part for her. It's not that I don't love or never wanted to put any effort but I just don't like to get my self injured over a girl that I don't even know that love me. Besides I heard that she either don't like to have a relationship or just never had a couple. Let's just say this "I took a step to give up before the war" and believe in faith if she's is suppose to be mine I'll be with her any way one day. 

So end of story I actually fallen for her college friend instead but at the same time my heart still want to know her even more. It's the riddle of the heart that even a riddler need time to explain.

" Only time will tell if she is my faith to be with."

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Day I found A new



She the one that is beauty in looks and I hope also in the heart. She is the one that is awesome in what she does ( I hope so...  ) but sadly she is not yet to be mine and I don't think she ever will. For someone that good looking is quite impossible to be with some one dull as me. It's like she's the joule on a ring and I'm a the rust that corrupt it... Two things that make a horrible combination. I'ts just not men't to be. huhuhuhu wish she was mine..... :'(

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Flashback

Look back throw the days that I was once a no one and knew none. Take a breath now, I knew them and I know a lot. Magic of the years  flowing throw time , aging gives us more experience and that make our maturity level goes up , all the nice pics and all. All the people we learn to call.

Where we ever we go our past will follow. Remembering all the things that happen throw it all it is kind of a pain that no one can throw away. All the Love , hate , happy and sad that had happen will always wishing to be back has happen and will never return. All that is left are memories that will be burn if forgotten. 
Be for I came to the present there is some things that will never change. Friends , family , memories and me will always be the same. I don't think friendship can be destroy because friendship will be the same but the way we share it will change. The same sun will rise and set but new day will be born when that cycle is done.


- Never regret of your past , cherish make brighter future out of it -

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Snowy Owl


As People looks for perfection it watches people doing fools work. As I talk hopping for the world to accept me different then others the world only claims me weird for saying things that don't make sense. The Snowy Owl stay the way it is and the perfection comes to it. As should I accept me the way I am for the world to accept me special from others because if I was to not accept my self as a special individual how could I ask the world to do so? Its the concept of life, For one to be perfect on must think one is perfect because there is nothing perfect in this world unless one think it is.